3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
