you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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