I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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