I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
