I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
