She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
