wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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