i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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