He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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