Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this just has baby written all over it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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