you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
