I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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