That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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