So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
