Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
