I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
