so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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