doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize