So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
