i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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