it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As shirtless as possible
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
