He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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