Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
