you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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