I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
