You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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