Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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