I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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