it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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