She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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