Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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