Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
