seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
