i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
