I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
