I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
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We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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