I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...