Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.