Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
