windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
