I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
