Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
