is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
