Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
