Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
