Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
