I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Randomize
