i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
