are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am midnight drunk by noon
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
