Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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