Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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