There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't want my vagina anymore.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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