He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
