Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
