1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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