im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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