Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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