If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
