My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
