you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize