that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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