dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
