the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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