we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
