He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
