I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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